Steeddating 3

01-Sep-2017 22:47

We can feel the budding romance budding away right now and, frankly, it’s making us quite nauseous. Box #1 – Extremely handsome, rich, successful doctor seeks heavily overweight working class mother of at least a dozen children.

Must have severe smoking habit, accompanying hacking cough, foul temper, and profanity laden general conversation.

Would also like to purchase a tandem bike, so save up. Box #17 – Morbidly obese woman seeks pretty little thing to run about and fetch her all manner of high fat foods.

Must not mind being ordered about in a deeply masculine voice.

True love is, after all, like a sandwich; made up of two slabs of bread with filling.

Okay, so that analogy isn’t very good, so just impute your concept into its place.

Box #11 – Angry man seeks equally angry man for furious arguments about who is angriest. Box #12 – Extremely well toned gym addict seeks layabout fatso for emotional bullying – partner must make my general feeling of narcissism soar. Must also like sleeping on the sofa, as you’ll be so upset you’ll be on that thing a lot!

Must be so angry friends and relatives begin to complain about our endless anger. Box #13 – Admittedly somewhat unintelligent male seeks genius for humiliating debates.

Thusly we have a glorious list of the very best human beings from around the world.

Box #2 – Extraordinarily ugly layabout and ASBO gathering chav seeks highly attractive leggy blonde.