Once we decide who is in charge of whatever thing, the person in charge makes the final say. I like to look at all sides of every coin including a few that I may have made up. and the N's and T's are both with in a couple points of each other. on the Intj forum there was a thread showing many results of one of these tests and this was not uncommon.I personally think the system as it stands is broken.
Just because in our culture the male is supposed to be directive, doesn't mean male Adaptives are not allowed to be with female directive types.However, if you would have issues with a woman who was more assertive than yourself, you will need to find a way past those issues before you get involved with an assertive woman of any personality type.