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16-Feb-2018 22:06

So why are we still so enamoured of old-fashioned marriage?

‘‘Maybe in a social context where there is so much variability, so much choice and flux, marriage or partnerships offer people what they consider is a sense of stability?

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I know the attitude of the production company and I know the attitude of the network . The goal is creating successful and long-lasting relationships.’’ The Catholic Church has accused the show of trivialising marriage for television ratings — but, arguably, that horse has bolted.

‘‘Not so much by creating a marriageable individual, but through constructing a resilient couple. The individual’s inability to know what is best for them is presented as one of the main obstacles in contemporary dating.’’ It’s a hard road finding the perfect man/woman/partner. They swipe right on a dating app and minutes-hours-days later, they meet for coffee/dinner/sex. And if that sounds easy, it is apparently not — more than 4000 Kiwis applied to be on .

Scientific expertise offers an alternative to individual agency . ‘‘We cannot underestimate the desire for people to want companionship,’’ Farvid says. We definitely get lonely.’’ Applicants told the experts they were tired of a technologically mediated dating game.

‘‘They couldn’t handle it, and they were like, ‘Could someone just figure it out for me — there’s too much choice’. People who were like, ‘I feel like I’ve exhausted all my options’ and I’m, ‘Honey, you’re 26. ’ ’’ Farvid (relationship status: ‘‘not married’’) was born in Iran and lived there until she was 10. Farvid: ‘‘It depends how love is positioned or constructed for you in a particular cultural climate or historic context.’’ For example, she says, if your idea of love is a monogamous partnership, running a house together and raising children, ‘‘then I think that’s easily growable’’.

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She says the arranged marriages she observed among family members in that country were ‘‘basically like a blind date — two families go, ‘Hey, these two might be good. In the Western context, where romantic love reigns?When Married at First Sight called for Kiwi participants, 4000-plus singles applied Kim Knight meets one of the experts charge with finding the perfect match.



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